Back – Because of a man named Daniel

Its been almost 2 years since I wrote here.

Life has been tough… My last few Blogs in 2014 hinted at the fact I was feeling unwell & over the last 2 years I have rapidly declined… Multiple health issues meant leaving a lifetime of work behind & becoming one of “Great Britain’s” (notice the inverted comma’s) many Scroungers & Skivers who claim the dreaded ESA.

It wasn’t without its battles, believe me, 3 consultants, numerous hospital admissions, trips in ambulances was not enough. Dropping plates, fainting, crying for days on end, wasn’t enough…… Letters confirming diagnoses, additional 12 tablets a day which took my daily intake to 26 wasn’t enough, regular iron infusions & steroid injections wasn’t enough….

I had to have an assessment…………

The first one was dis-guarded mid way through as I had a “episode” at the meeting… No shit, The travel to the meeting was fraught as I am in constant pain, I was then kept waiting 3 hours past my given appointment time which meant I needed to take round 2 of my daily tablet routine… That never happened & so I became very tomato-esque as my BP went up & I keeled over.

They were most helpful (not) & I was told to go home & “recover” & come back when they could re-book…. LOL I wish with all my being that I could “recover”.

The second meeting was taken by a young girl, who really didn’t know what to do with me.. So she forwarded me onto a “qualified” person….. (I feel bad for all those who were assessed by the girl, she was pleasant but very un-schooled on the basics of many disabilities, let along in anyway qualified to make life-altering judgements).

My “qualified” person was very matter-of-fact, very disciplined in the stupid questions she had to ask. After the hour long tick-box exercise, we sat & spoke… I think up until then, I was “fit for work” according to them lol.

That last conversation was the most important one of my life, I now realise.

I asked for a glass of water & took my tablets (I bought them with me this time). I then proceeded to explain my life.

She never had a chance not to listen.

I told her I want to work, I always wanted to work; My dreams had been many, I wanted to be a Vet….. I studied hard, I went to college, only dropping out when I couldn’t fund the course. I left college on a Thursday & had my first job on the following Monday & NEVER looked back…

The only time I had been unemployed was 3 pregnancies (Only taking 6 weeks or so off for each baby) & a brief spell of illness (Cancer treatment).

I’ve been in middle management roles since my early 20’s & have been made redundant numerous times due to “downsizing” & “economic climates” – BUT I still worked, I took admin roles, sales roles – anything I felt would pay my way & provide for my daughters….

Then came the tiredness, the black exhaustion & the diagnosis’s that started to come thick & fast from 2012……….

None of which was my fault in any way – in fact one consultant said clearly I have “jolly rotten luck”.

I sat in front of “ESA qualified lady” & cried… I explained I had purchased some voice recognition software for my PC & found this to be invaluable, as my hands seize up (something the standard questions didn’t discover).

I have a software which checks my spelling & grammar now as the illness causes brain-fog (again something the standard questions didn’t cover).

I also told her, I was sending CV’s out still (against my Dr’s & Consultants advice) as I need to feel worthwhile & valuable…BUT they have a proviso on the application letter- I Must be able to install the 2 aforementioned software’s, so I can function in an admin capacity….

I’ve had NO positive responses… to be honest, why should I, there are people out there, half my age & twice as fast & competent applying for the same jobs………

I explained to her – I should be sitting in your chair, I should be doing a job like you, I feel bloody terrible that I am not.

I sobbed the whole way through this diatribe..

Anyway

I haven’t written here for a while, as I feel awful (literally & figuratively) thanks to the turn my life took. I feel bad for claiming a “benefit” (Who the hell calls these things benefits….Its a bloody stupid name for something many don’t want but are forced to use). I feel bad for turning from “supermum” running around, working 3 jobs, being the go-to person for help & advice, to now being stuck in my house, behind a PC – talking to it – pretending to the world I am fine.

I help regularly with online charity marketing – I can do this from my bed in PJ’s and it makes me feel worthwhile… Its unpaid but it makes me feel a little valuable…

Us Daniel Blake’s are real

We are NOT the parodies that Ch4 & others put out… You know – The chain-smoking, drinking, fat layabout figure they poke fun at in a sickening display of smug elitist condescension.

We are hard working, once proud people who have paid in & now need some help.

#IAmDanielBlake #WeAreAllDanielBlake

 

 

 

 

IDS – I studied Poor people at College!

(Copied from Facebook status – with permission).

IDS has never experienced poverty…not being able to afford a decent claret is not being poor…the man is an egomaniac, who failed miserably as the leader of the party due to a vote of no confidence..and has decided the jobless working class are the root cause of Greatish Britain’s woes and must be weeded out and kept out of sight like the embarrassing relatives that insist on turning up at every family function, so they have been out priced in affordable housing in London and the continued programme of selling off social housing in the more affluent areas surrounding London wells, thats the social cleansing sorted, now lets deal with the buggers eating decent food, ah UNIVERSAL CREDIT, thats will make it difficult for them to afford decent food, and if they get obese through eating food laced with hidden sugars, and processed cow hooves and pigs testes we can then cut their benefits if they don’t loose weight, and if that don’t finish off the blighter’s we will sanction them cutting off their benefits altogether making them homeless and destitute and suicidal and then when they have killed themselves we can say they did not try hard enough OH, but hold on, we need to put some spin on this, as its not looking too good on us Tories ah heres what we can say ” its better to be in work on zero hour contracts on minimum wage and keep your self respect “…yes they died of pride..what noble fellows those chaps were, yes, we will commend them for their sacrifice….” for I Ian Duncan Smith knows what its like to be poor and out of work, I studied it as i implemented my welfare reforms “……..